Art Frahm was an advertising artist and painter of pin-up girl posters active from the 1940s to the 1960s. The real question is, were his paintings a scientific study of the effects of celery on elastic! In the images to follow, you will note that they usually have several features in common: a damsel in distress, dislocated lingerie, an amused man in no hurry to help, and, of course, celery.

Since time immemorial, celery has been that food that has no actual purpose. We still consume it, thinking it must be good for us, given that it’s green and fibrous. Some scientists argue that it actually takes more calories to eat it than are contained in it.

Despite the uses of celery as a filler in soups and salads, and occasionally in dressings and other foods, it adds little if any flavor. Oh certainly, it is eaten with peanut butter or with cream cheese as “snacks”, but really, does it serve any purpose except as a platform for the good stuff?

The evidence presented in these paintings would make one surmise that men know something about this phenomenon. Instead of the sympathy and concern one would expect from the witness of these hideously embarrassing situations, they seem, without exception, to be amused. And are dogs, “man’s best friend”, actually in cahoots with these observers?


I think you will have to agree, based on these images, that, if Mr. Frahm was painting from life, that celery is very likely either an alien technology and/or a plot by men, that has magnifying effects on gravity, and the ability to render elastic useless. Beware the Celery!!!







