Today I woke up to my entire yard being covered in toilet paper. My best guess is that a group of young girls were the culprits, trying to get my youngest son’s attention. They got his attention all right, as I woke him up way before he wanted to be awoken and made him go out and clean up the mess even though he was clearly less than thrilled. Bleary eyed and barely awake, he picked up the damp paper mess and threw it all away. He then came in to announce, “Why in the world would they think I would like this?’ He was tired and cranky and although he wasn’t saying so, I got the distinct impression that he may also have an idea about who the guilty parties were that decorated our yard with such vigor.
Being young has its virtues, but there is certainly much to be gleaned and embraced from being older, and hopefully wiser. Big girls know that the way to a man’s heart isn’t found anywhere near an act of mild vandalism, and certainly making a mess that he might have to clean up later isn’t going to help much either. No–we big girls know that what a man really wants is, well–you know. Part of the beauty of being mature and grown up is that we don’t have to guess what a man wants, we have that all figured out. And by now of course, we know how to deliver.
Part of being a confident, mature and sexy woman entails knowing precisely how to get (and keep) a man’s attention. Men are pretty simple creatures really and it doesn’t entail rocket science to figure them out. Wrapping yourself up in some pretty sexy lingerie for a sexy and very private night at home might be all it takes. (If you aren’t sure about this strategy, just ask a man!) Absolutely no toilet paper will be involved (thankfully). Yes– I may have a few more wrinkles and my body might be a teeny bit softer than it used to be. But with those things I have also acquired some great wisdom…and in this day in age that’s really not such a bad thing. Xo J.